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“KINDERGARTEN Style”
ART HISTORY LECTURE:
BY BIG RIG THE CHRIST MAS TREE
“Van Gough cut off his ear cause of some girl”, bluntly declared Hillary Clinton look-a-like, Josephine Madre.
“What?!? Hell naw, hell naw”, exclaimed Keisha Jackson from Cunningham elementary school in 2nd period art class.
Well the evidence is finally clear. A pact of “silence” between Vincent van Gough and swordsmen Paul “Wall” Gauguin Has finally leaked.
These two friends used to spar and study martial arts at van Gough’s art studio.
Paul Gauguin loved sword play and was know for his famous “apple chop” and “watermelon toss and slice” samurai skills.
Paul Gauguin used to boast that he put an apple on the top of your head and slice the apple in half with one 5o mile per hour sword chop. HE COULD DO THIS. And he did it all the time in front of large crowds at art openings.
Vincent Van Gough was always jealous of Paul’s sword skills and painting skills. Van Gough was more of a jitsui wrestling man of martial arts.
He could lock you
up on the ground like a boa constrictor and make you beg for breathe. His only problem was he had no kicking or punching skills and he definitely couldn’t chop an apple in half.
Gauguin was also considered a Post-Impressionist painter. His bold, colorful and design oriented paintings significantly influenced Modern art. Gauguin’s influence on artists and movements in the early 20th century include Vincent Van Gogh, Henri Matisse, Pablo Picasso, Georges Braque, André Derain, Fauvism, Cubism and Orphism, among others.
Gauguin’s relationship with Van Gogh was rocky. Gauguin had shown an early interest in Impressionism, and suicidal tendencies. In 1888, Gauguin and Van Gogh spent nine weeks together; painting in the latter’s Yellow House in Arles. During this time, Gauguin became increasingly disillusioned with Impressionism, and the two quarreled.
Art historians Hans Kaufmann and Rita Wildegans theorize that Gauguin cut off Van Gogh’s left ear after a heated argument. The historians state that Gauguin was an excellent fencer, and left the Yellow House with his baggage and epee. Van Gogh and Gauguin continued to argue in the street, where Gauguin used his epee to cut Van Gogh’s ear — “either in anger or self-defense”.
The historians cite written conversations between Van Gogh and his brother Theo, and a sketch of Van Gogh’s cut ear written next to the word ictus, the Latin fencing term to mean,
” A HIT!!!!” (Hamlet Style)
Picture below is Van Go(in)’s self portrait after he had his ear cut off by Paul Gauguin after an altercation.
Self Portrait with Bandaged Ear, 1889 by Vincent van Gogh (1853-90) Photo: Samuel Courtauld Trust, Courtauld Institute of Art Gallery
German art historians say the true version of events never surfaced as the two men both kept a “pact of silence” – Gauguin to avoid prosecution and Van Gogh in a vain attempt to keep a friend with whom he was hopelessly infatuated.
The prevailing theory is that the Dutchman, who painted Sunflowers and the Potato Eaters, almost bled to death after slashing his own ear with a razor in a fit of lunacy on the night of December 23, 1888.
He is said to have wrapped it in cloth and handed it to a prostitute in a nearby brothel.
However, the new work from experts in Hamburg offers a very different version.
Gauguin, an excellent fencer, was planning to leave Van Gogh’s “Yellow House” in Arles, southwestern France, after an unhappy stay.
He had walked out of the house with his baggage and his trusty épée in hand, but was followed by the troubled Van Gogh, who had earlier thrown a glass at him.
As the pair approached a bordello, their row intensified, and Gauguin cut off Van Gogh’s left earlobe with his sword – either in anger or self-defense.
He then threw the weapon in the Rhône. Van Gogh delivered the ear to the prostitute and staggered home, where police discovered him the following day, the new account claims.
This explains why in his final recorded words to Gauguin, Van Gogh writes: “You are quiet, I will be, too”.
He mentions Gauguin’s request to recover his fencing mask and gloves from Arles, but not the épée.
He also pointed to one of Van Gogh’s sketches of an ear, with the word “ictus” – the Latin term used in fencing to mean a hit. The authors believe that curious zigzags above the ear represent Gauguin’s Zorro-like sword-stroke.
“That was propaganda and all part of Gauguin’s self-defense strategy,” said Mr. Kaufmann. “But it was a shock from which Vincent never recovered, led to the aggravation of his disease and paved the way to his suicide,” he said.
AND NOW WE BRING TO YOU OUR FAVORITE SEGMENT!!!!!
“LEARN A SPANISH WORD IN ONE DAY!!!!!“
TODAYS WORD ES PELIGRO, PELIGRO, PELIGRO!!!!
say it to every Mexican you meet today! Salute him. then say Peligro . He will teach you many more of new words in SPANISH!!!!
peligro
Function:
masculine noun
Language:
Spanish
1 : danger, peril
2 : risk
Click here below for our final farewell to you our beloved audience members of the www.solidgoldtelevision.com show!!!
Thanks:
Grazie! = Thank you!
Grazie tanto! = Thank you very much!
Grazie mille! = Thank you very much!
Ti ringrazio! = I thank you!
Replies:
Prego! = the reply to “grazie”,
“You’re welcome”
Di niente! = For nothing! maybe in English they say “It’s nothing!”
Figurati! = an informal reply
Non c’è di che! = It’s for nothing! “You’re welcome” !
Have a great day!
Tags: 3 Comments
épée peligro!! grazie,
no no no thank you ! DANGEROUS SWORD!!!!!!!!
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“i did it/ did not do it…for dumb luff” investigative journalism needs to be a course requirement for junior college.
kudos for this spot-on scoop, snoopy.
the gaugin sword-play is so much more plausible & tasty. van gogh has regained ‘total jedi-respec’ status.