As the NBA Finals begin tonight, Game 1, between the Orlando Magic and the Los Angeles Lakers, I want everyone to keep an eye on the Venomous Villain lurking on the hardwood:

Kobe Bryant’s Elbows!!!

Physically speaking they are easy to follow as they are attached to Kobe himself, but they are out of his control!

Or are they?

Like that Movie, “The Hand”, starring Michael Caine:

The story of an Artist who loses his hand in a car accident only to later have black outs, during which he murders all kinds of folks, but later you can’t tell if its him, or the Hand….

Is Kobe Controlling the Elbows, or are the Elbows controlling Kobe? Are the elbows responsible for that mess in Denver a Few Years back? Or was it another piece of his anatomy? You know the ‘Mess’ that causes his wife to go everywhere with him now, even to the can. Does she know about the elbows?

(Mike Bibby Found out the hard way…)

Kobe even did an Art Project , for NIKE, with fellow Passive Aggressive Euro Raisin, WK Interact, whose NY sabotages of a Hard Ass Houstonian Graffiti Mogul’s peices, lead to him getting knocked the ‘F’ out by the aforementioned Rockets fan, in Miami, in front of hundreds at WK’s own Art Opening.(Don’t Mess with Texas)

(That’s Frenchman being dropped by the Texan, for clarification)

(Kobe with WK Interact)

We’ll explore a sampling of Classic Kobe Elbows via Youtube clips, and the possible Link to the brief yet Violent mentoring of the King of Dirty, Karl “The Mailman” Malone…

Kobe elbows Artest in Throat…

Same Series:

Kobe elbows own Player(Jason Schwartzman look-alike, Sasha):


Sometimes his antics end in Throat Punches(direct Aggression):

Karl Malone famously knocked out David Robinson, the League’s most wholesome player of all-time. If you lived in and around San Antonio growing, you’ll remember Robinson’s PSAs on how to avoid Fist Fights. The Man is a Saint, who now sells copy machines from BillBoards, but that is neither here nor there.

So don’t be shocked when you see Kobe play Cheap & Dirty.